I just want you to know who I am'
by ll Cele ll
Summary: He just wanted Lucian to know who he was, to see him like his bug Pokemon-perfect.' Songfic to the song Iris By The Goo Goo Dolls. EliteUnderShipping


A/N: Ooh, my first ever songfic. My First EliteUnderShipping fic at that. I do hope that you'll like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or the Song used.

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_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

Aaron had already given up a lot of things just to be even close to Lucian, even to be just friends.  
If he had to, he'd give up everything he had just to be with the loved physic type master of Sinnoh's Elite Four, but he knew that that probably wouldn't be a sensible choice.

He had convinced himself on so many occasions now that Lucian could never feel the same way, and that he should just give up, and move on...but there was always something there still, telling him that somehow, just somehow, Lucian felt the same way towards him.

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

Each time he was around the purple haired man, Aaron always felt calm and at peace, much like his Mother's description of Heaven, which she had given him when he was just a little boy.

And here he was now, with exactly the same feeling, whilst watching Lucian end the battle with a trainer, brave enough to challenge him.  
"Heh...being brave is one thing, but having strength is another." Aaron thought to himself, watching as the trainer's last Pokemon fell to the ground in defeat.

The people gathered there to watch the spectacle now were beginning to leave in dribs and drabs, but Aaron didn't want to go home just yet, content just to look at the victor, as he talked to his defeated opponent.

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life_

Aaron watched as the challenger spoke to Lucian like he had known him his whole life.  
"Why...do they all have to be so stuck up?!" he thought as he angrily clenched is fists together, just wanting that trainer to disappear, and for him to be up there talking to Lucian like that instead...  
The 'perfectionist's' mood suddenly changed however, and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the trainer whisper something into Lucian's ear. Thoughts and wishes suddenly rushed through his head. He could picture him and the victor of today's match, cuddled up close, the 4th elite's arms wrapped around the 1st one's waste, whilst he gently kissed at his skin, taking in every taste and smell of the man intertwined with him...He pictured that so often, that sometimes it even felt real.

Well, he wanted to believe that it could be real. What Aaron wanted the most was just to be able to share Lucian's life with his own, taking in every detail of how the man lives whilst they went along...

'_Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

These thoughts never lasted very long however. Usually, just as the young man was starting to really enjoy his fantasies, he was snapped out of his trail of thought, and brought back down to reality. Normally another member of the Elite Four did this, and as much as Aaron loved all of them, he always still felt annoyed at the fact that they had caused his fantasy to be over.  
This was, unless it was Lucian himself of course, since after all, he didn't want to miss a single chance to see his beloved 'friend'...

_And I don't want the world to see me  
__'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

The Young boy felt as if he just needed to tell someone, just get it off of his chest at long last...but, if he did so, what would the reactions be? What happens if he got rejected straight up front? Aaron would feel like he could never show his face to anyone again...especially Lucian.

"They wouldn't understand anyway." He thought to himself, as he was finally persuaded to leave his seat, to join the other elites on their way back home...

_When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

As they walked, Aaron once again began to think about what would happen if he suddenly did confess his love...and get rejected. Would all of the friendship which he had built up with the other Elites suddenly shatter? Would they all just break into a million tiny pieces, hurting Aaron more than he could have imagined? 'Hearts can break too, after all'. He whispered this softly, so that the others would not hear him.

The Bug type user let out a heavy sigh; all he wanted was the Book-Loving man to see Aaron for Aaron, even if he didn't have the same feelings as him. He just wanted Lucian to know who he was. To see him like his bug pokemon-perfect.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the Moment of truth in your lies_

Aaron's eyes began to water as he thought about this. He always tries so hard to hold the tears back when he's around other people, but, when he's safe in his room at night, he lets all of his bottled up emotions out. Once or twice he had been caught, but he just said that he was either tired and was yawning, or that he had hurt himself somehow, and that everything was alright. This may seem silly, but it did usually work. After all, Aaron was known to be a bit of a cry-baby.

His lies did have a sort of truth about them however, as he was hurt, just not visibly...  
Even so, Aaron had thought on a few occasions just to tell the others what was wrong, instead of just continually lying to them, something which was getting him absolutely nowhere.

_When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

Another thing which Aaron thought of frequently, was that how movie-like his fantasies sounded.  
"Really...what are the chances of this ever even happening?" He accidently said out loud, as the Elites finally reached their home. All of them, Flint, Bertha, Lucian, and Cynthia turned to face the short, immature seeming boy, who looked up, his face flushed from embarrassment as soon as he realised what he had said.

"Ummm, it's nothing, really." Was the only thing which he responded with, hoping that it would be enough. Three of the other members just shrugged this off, and continued to their own personal rooms, but one however, stayed put, finally wanting answers to make up for the boy's strange behaviour over the past few weeks.

A hand was placed on the shoulder of the still embarrassed Aaron, causing him to flinch and look up, only to find himself staring into the one and only eyes of Lucian himself. Instantly, the younger Elite's blood began pumping faster around his body, as his heart beat quickened, and the palms of his hands began to feel sweaty.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

"Aaron..." Lucian began tentatively, not wanting to upset the boy.  
"What is wrong, really? You always palm your feeling of as just 'nothing' but it's easy to tell that there is something there which has been bothering you over the past few weeks."  
Aaron looked up at the taller man, feeling the tears begin to well up in his eyes once again, upon seeing how much the person he loved cared.

"You always seem to not want people to know what you're feeling, and always act like you just want to hide away from the world, whenever you are asked what's wrong. Whatever you tell us, I promise that we'll all understand. Nothing bad will ever happen from you telling the truth. Okay?"  
Aaron's eyes widened at the fact that Lucian could read him just like a book. Well, that did actually make sense, since he is Sinnoh's top bookworm.

_When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

"I, I just..." Aaron began, not really knowing what to say. He knew that Lucian was right, and that he just needs to tell the truth. And if there was a time for that, then now was it. The only thing holding him back now was the fact that he didn't want his heart to break...  
He took a deep breath, preparing himself, then turned to face Lucian, and look of worry still upon the man's face.  
"Lucian...I...I just want you to know who I am really. Not to see me as one of the Elite Four, but to see me as Aaron, the immature, cry-baby which I can be...but I want you to not care about that at the same time, I just-"

_  
And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

Aaron was cut off by Lucian placing a soft kiss upon his lips, the touch sending jolts of electricity throughout the boy, the thoughts of this being all too movie-like coming back from earlier. But, before his knew it, the bug type user was soon returning the kiss, his hands wrapping around the Psychic type user's neck, whilst his wrapped themselves around the boy's waist.  
At that moment, Aaron decided that this was real, and just wanted the moment to last forever. It was just him and Lucian, and no-body else in the world could see them like they were now, which made Aaron finally smile into the kiss, after weeks of feeling down over all of this.

_When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

Finally, after what felt like hours had passed, the two broke apart, the need for air finally getting to the both of them. Aaron rested his head again Lucian's chest, whilst Lucian just held him close, not wanting to let go.  
"What are we going to tell the others?" Aaron finally spoke up, realising that they would have too eventually.  
"Lets not tell anyone about this, not just yet..." Lucian replied happily.  
A surprised Aaron looked up into the man's eyes for the second time today, questioning his choice of answer.  
"...Because they may not understand...like you kept on convincing yourself all of this time." He finished, placing a kiss on the boy's forehead.  
" Hehe...until now that is" Aaron chuckled leaning against Lucian once again, just happy to be in his warmth.

_I just want you to know who I am_

"Come on..." Lucian finally broke the two apart, much to the displeasure of Aaron.  
"Lets go back to your room-I want to find out more about this 'real you'"  
To this Aaron couldn't oblige, and he whole heartedly took Lucian's offered hand, as he lead him back to his room.

_I just want you to know who I am_

Aaron took several peeks at Lucian's face on the way there, each time seeing the same emotion in his eyes which he knew that he had in his own. Love.

_I just want you to know who I am  
_

And that night, the two Elites shared their stories from the past, telling each other what they really were like, and sharing things which they wouldn't dare tell anyone else.  
And all through this, Aaron had a silly grin on his face, happy that Lucian finally knew who he was, and even eager to find out more. All of his previous worries were now lost, and he could once again be the bubbly and energetic boy, which all of the Elites had grown to love in some way. The same went for Lucian, he thought about what may have happened if he hadn't kissed Aaron when he did, but in the end decided that there was no point in thinking about the 'what ifs'. Instead, he just enjoyed the first of the many nights which he would be spending in Aaron's room, happy to listen to his lover's stories, and equally as happy to share his own with him.

_I just want you to know who I am._

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A/N: Well...there we go! Please read and review this! Flames are despised (They don't help anything at all), but constructive criticism is very much welcomed. ^.^  
Aaron is a bit (okay, maybe a lot) OCC I know...but I just couldn't help it really. .;


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